The Knot in My Shoulder

The Knot in My Shoulder

by Allison McKenzie

This morning I woke with a knot in my shoulder 

Because I decided to carry the weight of the world again

And Without resistance, I let it gnarl and ravage 

at the jagged fleshy strands

That lie below

yet at noon I still took my humble position 

And I soaked my hands in hot oil 

placing coins on the eyes 

Of those coming to surrender. 

And prayed till the fabrics on my mat 

Became worn and tender 

That they will come to own

A little sliver of peace

And I have always believed this story

That I am only to be the giver 

Never one to turn eyes my direction 

Or rip apart the restlessness of clouds 

To soak up my portion of the sun 

But maybe tomorrow

I will burn this book

A resurrection from my own destruction

And maybe tomorrow 

I will lie down in the ashes of unimportance 

And sink them deep into the ground 

And unearth instead the source of self loathing 

And why I so much hate to be alone

And maybe Tomorrow 

I will untie my bounty of stomach knots

Concluding I only welcomed hunger 

Because I was looking 

For someone else to feed me 

And Tomorrow;

I will join in the surrender 

And roll my shoulders back

Clothed in silk and ease and the finest oil

And breath for the first time, 

Blowing dust and smoke out of a full belly

And try to remember

That I, deserve a little sun 

And a little slice of peace 

too.